Hi Honey I'm Home!

I wound up going to see my family after the new year - it was lovely and exciting to get to look into their eyes and tell them I love them, to hug my competent, grown up daughter and tell her how proud I am of her graduation, her first professional job.

The experience was also profoundly disorienting. I've been in California for two and a half years now; I'm a busy returning college student with lovely, excellent friends. As I sat in my father's living room with the once-trendy Moroccan gold paint I picked out for the walls, drinking coffee from the same cartoon mug I drank from as a teenager mumble years ago, I was struck by the sensation that my life here was a mirage, a vivid dream I had suddenly waked from.

No thank you, very much.

Brainless Boxing Day

I had really hoped to write today.

I did not sleep. I fought with my blankets, tossed, turned, and twitched.

Finally, at what most people consider lunch hour, I climbed out of bed and gave up. There has been coffee and food, there will be much lovely television, and I will be going to bed early.

Five Days Is An Eon, In The Age Of Wireless Words

2600 words of yuletide fan fiction and...it's a vignette.

It's now a complete vignette, with recognizable characters from the show and funny dialogue and physical comedy and a little unresolved sexual tension. It's fun and readable and I think my recipient will enjoy it.

I stretched, by writing that physical comedy. Since I don't move the way your average actor moves, it scares me to write movements I can't inhabit in my mind. But, I did it anyway because it was right for the characters and the story vignette.

Still, I wish it was a story with a plot, instead of a vignette.

A Day Full of Resistance

I am still resisting my Yuletide story. I re-watched several episodes of my assigned fandom's show this afternoon, and on the whole felt much more comfortable with the main characters' voices than I had before...but I still didn't put any words on the paper.

I think I need to try writing the ending, or a random off-screen scene. Something that can happen with less flail. I think I have to do it tonight, otherwise I'll have to work up my courage all over again.

/sigh./

Why can't I just be reasonable about these things?

Peripheral Story

I sat down to write my Yuletide story today and accidentally cranked out a flash-length original story which is not speculative. It's been a really long time since I wrote something that was "mainstream," but it's good to stretch.

And I still have that Yuletide assignment to write, now.

Remember this

For each of the last two nights, I woke up  before dawn for no reason I can name and lay awake for about an hour. I've spent the last two days studying through a fog of sleep deprivation.

Today my bones feel creaky and loose in their sockets, my eyes feel filmy and coated in grime. My brain buzzes, trying valiantly to process two classes' information for final exams. My hand shakes from caffeine overload and I am oh-so-glad my roommate is driving to and from our classes.

Still, I have a new story idea. The next time I become  afraid that my ideas have dried up, I will remember this.

Finals vs. Writing

Two more days until I can *finally* put this semester to bed.

It's been a wonderful learning experience (especially my writing class) but I am tired.

Plus, my brain wants to be writing instead of studying. Can't do that, for two more days.

/Sigh./